Shakespeare had a phrase for passionate lovers, they were star crossed, doomed. I wonder, if is it better to have passionate love or respect? I can't help but to compare the loves lives of Romeo and Juliet and Golda and Reb Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof. The difference? Romeo and Juliet were passionate lovers, Golda and Reb Tevya were an arranged marriage. There's an even bigger difference here, it's the issue of respect. Golda and Reb Tevya had respect within in their marriage, they also had a lot longer together than Romeo and Juliet.
I think this is partly why services such as eHarmony are as successful as they are. They allow the couple the chance to get to know each other. More importantly, develop respect for each other. I'm beginning to think that respect is an even bigger issue here than love. The old rhyme says "First comes love, than comes marriage" etc. But I wonder if perhaps respect ought to come first? It would seem that with respect love can be learned. Without respect, a relationship is meaningless. A couple can have all the love they want, but if there is no respet there it's pointless. Again the hopeless romantic in me is screaming no how can this be? But the cynic realist is winning out. So then I wonder, is it better to have passionate love or to have respect?
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This may have been what you were already getting at, but I think a respectful love is more of what should be the guiding force for a marriage. Passionate love, in my opinion, tends to ignore the more rational things of life. That is hardly a good thing. But on the flip side, I am not of the opinion that love will necessarily come out of marriage. So yes, respect must be in there from the start, but it probably takes more than just respect to make a marriage work. (Of course, this is speculation on my part, having never been in such a situation.)
A few passages came to mind almost immediately: 1Cor7 and Eph5. Both passion and respect covered there. Just a thought....
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