Typically I sing tenor, however for church I am singing alto. I have a bit of a strange method when I sing for choir, I must be surrounded by loud voices. I do this because when I sing in choir, I follow whoever is loudest regardless of whether or not they sing my part.
As I was singing in choir tonight I realized how similar this is to the way I live my life. When it comes to how I act and what I believe, I tend to follow whoever is loudest. Unfortunately this has led to me where I am currently.
I tend to live by consensus. Confidence is a non issue. I can be confident in something, but if I think someone will be offended or in any way give indication that they disapprove I do one of two things, hide it all together, or make a strong attempt to.
I'm reminded of the scene from the movie Runaway Bride. I seem to come back to this movie a lot. Anyway, the scene is about the middle of the movie when Ike accuse Maggie of not having a mind of her own. In a nutshell, he has just described me.
Fact is, I don't have a mind of my own. My mind is shaped by those around me. The annoying thing is that I want desperately to have a mind of my own. So how do I find my own mind, while still having the mind of Christ?
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