URBANA with Grandpa
People here, people there
people everywhere you see.
Hold tight the hand of granda,
best not to lose the way
weaving in and out
of the clamorouing sea.
"Look grandpa,
look at all the people!"
Twenty two, but still the thought
of grandpa send me back
to childhood again.
Starting to stress
so many people,
such a big place,
so easy to stress.
Stop in the middle
of the crowd,
take in a breath,
take in the moment.
Grandpa there,
in the middle
of the clamoring sea,
set on stool,
twinkle in eye,
sax in hand,
notes of The Old Rugged Cross
in the air.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Starving Children: Thoughts from URBANA
Growing up my sister used to use the age old "there are starving children in Africa who would kill to eat some of what you just left on your plate." "That's nice, they're over there and I'm here" I responded. While that may be true, the whole force of the situation in Africa came home for me at URBANA.
Cheers greeted us as we entered the line to get our bowl of porridge. I looked down at the unappetizing dish and told myself to enjoy it. "Think of it as watered down cream of wheat" I thought. I gagged after the third bite. Looking around I began to chuckle a bit just watching the different ways people ate this soy and corn based dish.
Some people ate quickly, so as to get it over with. Others, ate slowly dreading every bite. Some cleaned theirs bowls, claiming they liked it (personally I think they're insane), others left significant portions in their bowls.
Many thought flowed through my mind with every gagging bite. I thought about Oliver Twist "please sir, I want some more." His need must have been pretty bad for him to want more of something I found so repulsive.
More thoughts ran through my brain, "Even we have it better than they do" I thought. With the unappetizing meal we were given three packets of sugar, and a bottle of purified water.
Later that night as my stomach hurt from lack of food, and I nearly passed out from lack of protein I thought "I hope my need never gets that bad." I don't think I will ever be ambivolent toward the situation in Africa again.
Cheers greeted us as we entered the line to get our bowl of porridge. I looked down at the unappetizing dish and told myself to enjoy it. "Think of it as watered down cream of wheat" I thought. I gagged after the third bite. Looking around I began to chuckle a bit just watching the different ways people ate this soy and corn based dish.
Some people ate quickly, so as to get it over with. Others, ate slowly dreading every bite. Some cleaned theirs bowls, claiming they liked it (personally I think they're insane), others left significant portions in their bowls.
Many thought flowed through my mind with every gagging bite. I thought about Oliver Twist "please sir, I want some more." His need must have been pretty bad for him to want more of something I found so repulsive.
More thoughts ran through my brain, "Even we have it better than they do" I thought. With the unappetizing meal we were given three packets of sugar, and a bottle of purified water.
Later that night as my stomach hurt from lack of food, and I nearly passed out from lack of protein I thought "I hope my need never gets that bad." I don't think I will ever be ambivolent toward the situation in Africa again.
Defying Stereotypes
Most of you guys have figured out by now that one of my pet peeves is stereotyping. I can't stand it. It confines people to this little tiny box where they don't belong. One of the reasons I can't stand it is it happens to me more times than I care to count. Think about how many times a day you stereotype people. 'Well that's just cause you're a college kid." "That's just cause you're a pastor's kid." "That's just cause you're female." My personal favorite, "That's just cause you go to a Christian college." How many times in the course of a day have you said something like that?
You may not believe it, but it's hurtful. I get extremely annoyed when people put me into a box. I realize this happens everyday and so I try deal with it and move on with life. However, there are a few stereotypes that really get me. Like the Christian college stereotype. Yes, I go to a Christian college, and I AM PROUD OF IT!! If you have a problem with that take it up with someone else.
What irritates me about being put in the Christian college box is that it makes me feel like I have to apologize for where I go to school. It's gotten to the point where I'm almost ashamed to tell people I go to a Christian college cause they look at me like "you're one of those . . ." I have news for you, I'm not one of those. I am a Christian yes, and I am proud of that, but furthermore I am Christian and I am HUMAN!!
Just because I go to a Christian college doesn't mean I don't make mistakes, trust me I make them, oh how I make them. Along the same score just because it's a Christian college doesn't make them perfect. Christian colleges have problems too.
I try very hard to not stay within the Corban bubble. By that I mean, live on campus, work on campus, eat on campus, sleep on campus etc. Once a week I go to OSU to go dancing, the reason for that is first of all I love to dance, but more importantly it gets me off campus and around non-Christians. People who will actually make me use my brain and make me back up what I believe. I also work off campus, I work in a library at an elementary school. Each of these things provides me with an opportunity to see another part of the world. The non-Corban side of the world.
I may be a Corban student yes, but I am not whatever stereotype you think I am. More importantly, I do not try to condemn you for going to a secular university. I may get in your face about whether or not you're involved in a bible study, but I will not condemn you for not going to a Christian college. So why should you condemn me for going to one? Remember, Christ said judge not lest you be judged. Don't judge me because I go to a Christian college, I'm tired of it. Besides, is there really such a thing as stereotypical?
You may not believe it, but it's hurtful. I get extremely annoyed when people put me into a box. I realize this happens everyday and so I try deal with it and move on with life. However, there are a few stereotypes that really get me. Like the Christian college stereotype. Yes, I go to a Christian college, and I AM PROUD OF IT!! If you have a problem with that take it up with someone else.
What irritates me about being put in the Christian college box is that it makes me feel like I have to apologize for where I go to school. It's gotten to the point where I'm almost ashamed to tell people I go to a Christian college cause they look at me like "you're one of those . . ." I have news for you, I'm not one of those. I am a Christian yes, and I am proud of that, but furthermore I am Christian and I am HUMAN!!
Just because I go to a Christian college doesn't mean I don't make mistakes, trust me I make them, oh how I make them. Along the same score just because it's a Christian college doesn't make them perfect. Christian colleges have problems too.
I try very hard to not stay within the Corban bubble. By that I mean, live on campus, work on campus, eat on campus, sleep on campus etc. Once a week I go to OSU to go dancing, the reason for that is first of all I love to dance, but more importantly it gets me off campus and around non-Christians. People who will actually make me use my brain and make me back up what I believe. I also work off campus, I work in a library at an elementary school. Each of these things provides me with an opportunity to see another part of the world. The non-Corban side of the world.
I may be a Corban student yes, but I am not whatever stereotype you think I am. More importantly, I do not try to condemn you for going to a secular university. I may get in your face about whether or not you're involved in a bible study, but I will not condemn you for not going to a Christian college. So why should you condemn me for going to one? Remember, Christ said judge not lest you be judged. Don't judge me because I go to a Christian college, I'm tired of it. Besides, is there really such a thing as stereotypical?
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Confessions: Thoughts from URBANA
Close your eyes and imagine for a moment a room filled with 22,000 students and pastors from140 different countries worshipping together in at least five different languages. Sponsored by InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and held in the Edward Jones Dome in St. Louis, MO this was URBANA. Much more than a missions conference, URBANA provided opportunities to hear speakers on subjects ranging from AIDS awareness to racial reconciliation. Though these topics were a huge focus of URBANA, a side focus was the prayer ministry. Unknown to me, God started me on a journey of confession at just such a prayer ministry.
As I walked into one of the prayer ministries I thought, “What am I doing here? If I stay here I will be admitting to myself, God and everyone else in this room that I have a problem.”
Looking around at over a hundred students in the room I could feel my legs growing weak. I must have walked in and out of the room at least five times. Each time I walked out I stared at the sign “Prayer ministry.”
Finally I walked back into the room and sat down. A cute young woman in her early 20s got up and began to speak in a high pitched tone and giggling after every word.
“Oh great,” I thought “We’re going to be exhorted by this cute little chickie who’s barely experienced anything of life on how we all need to pray more.”
My brain immediately started shutting down as I slouched down and prepared myself for the worst. I realized the blond was only introducing the speaker as to my surprise, a middle aged woman who looked like she’d seen much more of life than the previous speaker got up and began to speak. An Indonesian woman, she spoke on the necessity of confessing ones sins as well as the need to forgive one’s self for those sins.
This woman spoke from her heart, as if she knew everything to say that would sear my conscience. Image after image of past wrongs, formed in my mind. After she spoke, an older man got up to speak -- same topic but a little different twist. Again I could feel myself tuning out what I perceived as a holier-than-thou attitude. However, as he spoke I could feel something happening in my mind and in my heart. While he may have had a pietist attitude, I realized God was still using him to get through to me.
When both speakers finished the Indonesian woman got up again and said “Now that we have shared with you our stories, we open this time for a confession of sins. Prayer ministry volunteers are standing, waiting to help you if you need to confess to someone.” Tears began to stream down my face.
Immediately 1 John 1:9 came to mind, a verse I had learned in childhood “Confess your sins and He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I had been taught that this verse deals with Christ’s initial forgiveness of sins, but upon closer examination, I realized this verse was talking the cleansing process that takes place after salvation.
I sought out one of the prayer ministry workers and as I began to confess my own sins tears flowed freely from my eyes. Things that I had stuffed down for years I now confessed verbally to a prayer ministry worker. As each sin was confessed the image of the cross stood in it’s place. No longer did I need to hide from past wrongs because God has forgiven every wrong committed both past and present.
As I walked into one of the prayer ministries I thought, “What am I doing here? If I stay here I will be admitting to myself, God and everyone else in this room that I have a problem.”
Looking around at over a hundred students in the room I could feel my legs growing weak. I must have walked in and out of the room at least five times. Each time I walked out I stared at the sign “Prayer ministry.”
Finally I walked back into the room and sat down. A cute young woman in her early 20s got up and began to speak in a high pitched tone and giggling after every word.
“Oh great,” I thought “We’re going to be exhorted by this cute little chickie who’s barely experienced anything of life on how we all need to pray more.”
My brain immediately started shutting down as I slouched down and prepared myself for the worst. I realized the blond was only introducing the speaker as to my surprise, a middle aged woman who looked like she’d seen much more of life than the previous speaker got up and began to speak. An Indonesian woman, she spoke on the necessity of confessing ones sins as well as the need to forgive one’s self for those sins.
This woman spoke from her heart, as if she knew everything to say that would sear my conscience. Image after image of past wrongs, formed in my mind. After she spoke, an older man got up to speak -- same topic but a little different twist. Again I could feel myself tuning out what I perceived as a holier-than-thou attitude. However, as he spoke I could feel something happening in my mind and in my heart. While he may have had a pietist attitude, I realized God was still using him to get through to me.
When both speakers finished the Indonesian woman got up again and said “Now that we have shared with you our stories, we open this time for a confession of sins. Prayer ministry volunteers are standing, waiting to help you if you need to confess to someone.” Tears began to stream down my face.
Immediately 1 John 1:9 came to mind, a verse I had learned in childhood “Confess your sins and He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I had been taught that this verse deals with Christ’s initial forgiveness of sins, but upon closer examination, I realized this verse was talking the cleansing process that takes place after salvation.
I sought out one of the prayer ministry workers and as I began to confess my own sins tears flowed freely from my eyes. Things that I had stuffed down for years I now confessed verbally to a prayer ministry worker. As each sin was confessed the image of the cross stood in it’s place. No longer did I need to hide from past wrongs because God has forgiven every wrong committed both past and present.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Worship: What are you bringing to the table? Thoughts from URBANA
At first I couldn't help but compare URBANA to other conferences I'd been to. Bear in mind that most of these conferences were homeschool conferences. So as you looked out over the crowd everyone looked just like everyone else. Ladies wore their long navy blue skirst without slits, and guys wore their navy suits and white shirts and a tie. Homeschool mom's had their denim jumpers and all their little girls dressed alike. Homeschool dad's looked just like their older sons in their own navy blue suits. The goal was to fit in, to conform, to not stick out, to look just like everybody else. As you looked out over the crowd the only thing that really did stand out was the fact that it was predominantly white. Maybe a few scattered African American families, but for the most part predominantly white. As far as worship goes, forget clap happy shake your booty songs, it was all hymns with no room for anything else.
As far as the sessions went, you could skip a session but you were made to feel like a realy jerk if you did. So you ended up making a concerted effort to kill yourself trying to keep up with the day. If you missed a session, you apparently weren't spiritual enough and thus ostracized.
Now compare this with URBANA. I was amazed at how different people at URBANA were. At URBANA there were people from 140 different nations. Africans, Americans, Australians, Canadians. There was no majority in this crowd. It didn't matter where you were from, you were all brothers and sisters in Christ. We sang songs in Haitian Creol, in Spanish, in Korean, and in English and that's just what I remember. As I looked over the crowd I realized that everyone was different. Replace the navy blue skirts with all different types of attire. No longer was it one set dress code because we are all different.
In the same manner styles of worship were different. I began the week very critical of the styles of worship around me. I saw it as being performanced base and too showy. I realized as the week wore on and God set me free from things in my life that were weighing me down that worship wasn't about what I thought of people. In fact, worship wasn't about me at all. Worship is about what I bring to the table to glorify God. The Westminster shorter catechism says that the cheif end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. One of the ways we do that is through worship. I realized that in looking around at everyone else and criticizing their style of worship, I was not glorifying God. Rather I was glorifying myself. While it is true that some clap happy, shake your booty songs leave something to be desired in worship, think about what you're bringing to the table to glorify God. Because that's what counts. It's not how much you look just like the next guy, it's how much your individual style of worship is glorifiying to God because worship isn't about you, it's about the glorification of a truly awesome God.
As far as the sessions went, you could skip a session but you were made to feel like a realy jerk if you did. So you ended up making a concerted effort to kill yourself trying to keep up with the day. If you missed a session, you apparently weren't spiritual enough and thus ostracized.
Now compare this with URBANA. I was amazed at how different people at URBANA were. At URBANA there were people from 140 different nations. Africans, Americans, Australians, Canadians. There was no majority in this crowd. It didn't matter where you were from, you were all brothers and sisters in Christ. We sang songs in Haitian Creol, in Spanish, in Korean, and in English and that's just what I remember. As I looked over the crowd I realized that everyone was different. Replace the navy blue skirts with all different types of attire. No longer was it one set dress code because we are all different.
In the same manner styles of worship were different. I began the week very critical of the styles of worship around me. I saw it as being performanced base and too showy. I realized as the week wore on and God set me free from things in my life that were weighing me down that worship wasn't about what I thought of people. In fact, worship wasn't about me at all. Worship is about what I bring to the table to glorify God. The Westminster shorter catechism says that the cheif end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. One of the ways we do that is through worship. I realized that in looking around at everyone else and criticizing their style of worship, I was not glorifying God. Rather I was glorifying myself. While it is true that some clap happy, shake your booty songs leave something to be desired in worship, think about what you're bringing to the table to glorify God. Because that's what counts. It's not how much you look just like the next guy, it's how much your individual style of worship is glorifiying to God because worship isn't about you, it's about the glorification of a truly awesome God.
Monday, January 1, 2007
Grand URBANA Adventure Day Five
Rose at 6:45AM and went down for breakfast again consisting of donuts, mffins and coffee. I grabbed what's becoming my usual cup of coffee with cream and sugar, a donut and sat down. I sat with a guy named Smiley Adams from Jackson, MI. This was way cool because my church did a missions trip to Jackson, MI. As it happens, it is the very church that Smiley Adams attends. It's a small world. We discussed how a predominately white school such as mine cross cultural lines. It was really cool to hear what God has been doing in Jackson since my church was there. We exchanged emails then parted ways.
After joining up with the rest of the group I again skipped out on the morning Bible study to get breakfast. Some of you have been wondering why this has been my habit. First, get up earlier would mean getting up at 5:30 in the morning to get my breakfast, not happening. Second there are no restaraunts where I can get something cheap around our hotel. Thirdly mass transportation leaves at 7:30 and that's the only chance you have to get to the convention center. Lastly, I get more out of my personal inductive Bible Study than I got out of a Bible study with 200 or more people where we were only allowed about five minutes to spend on observations. So while the rest were doing their bible studies, I did my own. Have no fear for my spiritual halth. Also, Ajith Fernando's teaching was absolutely incredible and as good or better than any large group study any day.
After standing in line for an hour and a half at Quizno's to get my lunch, I wandered around Connexions, where all the missions exhibotrs were, and the bookstore. I turned in my five dollar coupon for a copy of Why the Rest Hates the West. I am very excited to start reading this epecially after taking Middle East history last semester.
From there I went to a seminar entitled Artist Transforming Culture. This was by far the most interesting seminar I had been to. The speaker spoke on God's desire to bring color into the world and the responsibility Christian Artists have to bring do just that.
From there I met up with Stuart for dinner and we went to the main session. A woman attempted to give a summary of Ephesians and spoke of the necessity of finding your purpose. The next speaker was Terrence Nichols who was by far the best evening speaker we'd had all week. His statement "God has a desire to use you in spite of your past had a huge impact on me." Everytime I think of all that God has forgiven me, and the fact that I have been forgiven, it brings a smile to my face. Well my flight is about leave and I am returning home. Rest assured that I will have more blogs on my thoughts from URBANA. Thank you all so much for your prayers while I have been at URBANA.
After joining up with the rest of the group I again skipped out on the morning Bible study to get breakfast. Some of you have been wondering why this has been my habit. First, get up earlier would mean getting up at 5:30 in the morning to get my breakfast, not happening. Second there are no restaraunts where I can get something cheap around our hotel. Thirdly mass transportation leaves at 7:30 and that's the only chance you have to get to the convention center. Lastly, I get more out of my personal inductive Bible Study than I got out of a Bible study with 200 or more people where we were only allowed about five minutes to spend on observations. So while the rest were doing their bible studies, I did my own. Have no fear for my spiritual halth. Also, Ajith Fernando's teaching was absolutely incredible and as good or better than any large group study any day.
After standing in line for an hour and a half at Quizno's to get my lunch, I wandered around Connexions, where all the missions exhibotrs were, and the bookstore. I turned in my five dollar coupon for a copy of Why the Rest Hates the West. I am very excited to start reading this epecially after taking Middle East history last semester.
From there I went to a seminar entitled Artist Transforming Culture. This was by far the most interesting seminar I had been to. The speaker spoke on God's desire to bring color into the world and the responsibility Christian Artists have to bring do just that.
From there I met up with Stuart for dinner and we went to the main session. A woman attempted to give a summary of Ephesians and spoke of the necessity of finding your purpose. The next speaker was Terrence Nichols who was by far the best evening speaker we'd had all week. His statement "God has a desire to use you in spite of your past had a huge impact on me." Everytime I think of all that God has forgiven me, and the fact that I have been forgiven, it brings a smile to my face. Well my flight is about leave and I am returning home. Rest assured that I will have more blogs on my thoughts from URBANA. Thank you all so much for your prayers while I have been at URBANA.
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